So 2013 was a terrible year for me, im not going to lie and say yeah it was awesome… really it was terrible, like completely awful!! I was sick most of the year, i got diagnosed with severe depression, i wanted to end my own life, i was in and out of the hospital, i had my first and least favourite trip ever in an ambulance and spent hours in A&E, i am partially deaf until i get my ears and nose sorted out, and i lost my best friend ( my dog) while everything else was on top of me!! Fantastic ey!!
But i realised that this year instead of dwelling on the bad that i have went through i will focus on the good, staying positive and all that jazz! So lets see. 2014 – I am still with my amazing boyfriend ( darren ) and it will be our three year anniversary in July! Who knew he could me this long or that the really annoying little ginger kid who sat beside me in maths would turn out to be the love of my life 🙂
I have decided on doing a degree which i am due to start in Feb this year, I finally know what i wana do when i grow up! So im starting a degree in English literature which im both anxious and excited about.
Im ready for a change in my life i have to say and i know that the only person who can make that change is myself,
I would like to just take note here to say congrats to two very lovely people Yasmin & Andrea who both gave birth to their darling little babies at the end of 2013, Their babies are both born with situs inversus!!! I wish them all the love and blessings in the world for 2014 and i hope they treasure their babies,
Peace & Love
Update is well needed i think !
So i had an appointment with the Hospital on Halloween morning, bit crazy because it was packed out! had an appointment with the Ear/Nose/throat doctor, which has been long coming!!! It was great to finally get the appointment and get some information on whats happening with me! cause nobody likes being left in the dark. new experience for me, in that i got a hearing test which was kinda annoying because the beeping is so agressive, luckily i passed okay, some of my hearing is slightly crap because of my sinus issues and it all being connected. I met this really great doctor ( kinda good looking too!) who knew straight away after reading my file what is wrong with me, FINALLY AT LAST! A Doctor who knows what the hell to do ! He has diagnosed me with Chronis Sinusitis, which i think i sorta already knew but to have it confirmed has been great, downside tho is that he has put me on a lot of medication! So im on antibiotics for 6 weeks, Steroids for a week, Nose drops for 6 weeks, Nasal Spray for 3 months and then my usual meds im already taking! results in 11 tablets per day and lying upside for drops to go in – not a comfy position i can assure you, but if it helps then i wont complain, The doctor explained that he has to do all this before i see him in January as he is wanting to take me in for surgery, which i am a bit scared of because i havent had any major surgery done before, or actually any surgery apart from my teeth being pulled out as a child and for some reason the fact he is messing with my face is a bit scary, i kinda like my nose the way it is!! but hes going to repair my deviated septum, and my sinuses so i guess in the long run, when i can finally smell the roses again! and more importantly be able to breathe properly it will all be worth it. This month i have an important heart scan to go to, to see whats happening inside that little red backwards thing, and why im having heart palpitations etc. So with the year coming to an end soon, i can reflect on the fact it has had its ups and downs, i have been sick alot, i had to stop working, I got diagnosed with severe depression and other health issues, but the good parts – my family who have been amazing and there for me every step of the way, my boyfriend who i can assure felt the full force of my anger and stress at this year and is still with me, even though i know i dont deserve it. I look forward to 2014 being a better year.
Hello One and all –
Little update blog cause it has been a shockingly long time since i did!! My last post was a sad one due to our lovely dog passing away and it really upset me, I will always miss her and love her.
There has been very little that has actually happened to me lately, just a bout of a bad viral infection which was awful and i ended up rushed to A&E cause i blacked out but luckily i am all good now 🙂
I have a few scans and tests planned in next few months, on halloween I have a hearing test, and a visit to the nasal doctor! really fun there!!! not! and in november i have a heart scan to go to again!!
will keep you updated
love to all
Today was one of the hardest days of my life, and I had to do the hardest thing i have ever done –
My beautiful baby dog, Sheba who turned 11 last week had to be put to sleep, She has been really sick for a long time and she had liver cancer, sadly it all got too much for her and after an emotional night of her being in pain we made the decision to take her to the vets and have her put to sleep because we couldn’t have her being in pain anymore, this decision was such a hard one to make but ultimatly we knew we were being selfish by letting her stay at home because she was going through so much pain and agony and sadness, we wanted her to be happy and no pain to be left.
I read this lovely poem today called the Rainbow Bridge which really made me both cry and smile at the same time, I love the thought of my dog being there to wait for me when i pass over, and ready to cross the bridge with me –
So here it is :
The Rainbow Bridge
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies
that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable. All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health
and vigour; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again,
just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and
looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers.
Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs
carrying him faster and faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your
special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again.
The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head,
and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your
life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together
I feel as if the world is out to get me these days! Im sure the doctor thinks im a hypochondriac ( or else im just a really ill person) Id been having really bad issues with my stomach, feeling sick and sore and bloated and yucky all the time with no energy, but never managed to tell my doctor – well today id a routine check up on my heart stuff! Boring!! Well he told me that i either have one of two things, irratable bowel syndrome or else Coeliac Disease – Which means im unable to digest gluten products – this is a nightmare for me, because i LOVE bread and pizza and gravy and lots of gluten-y food – Now however the doctor is making me do all the usual tests for this however i do have to cut out some gluten products from my diet just to see if it helps! So far so bad – because iv went on the official website to find out what i can eat, and this is not a good thing!!!
Im a bit of a loss these days because i feel like im always sick and people are going to think im just a weirdo who always has something wrong with them – but what can you do!
So I havent wrote much lately, been having a somewhat rough time but if anyone does want to talk to me, or ask questions, then plz go ahead x
So id my last consult for a while. Yay! But nothing really happened as im still waiting on results from tests however I have been put on some new tablets that are to help my breathing which il be on full time for god knows how long and also a nasal spray (again) but not so bad. I did a crazu new nose test where they made me stick some thing in my nostril and breathe weirdly.. embarrasing enough but the doctor was very hot… could be a double of henry cavill who im in love with!!! So im not back there for 4 months! But just my usual doc 🙂
So today I had my final consultation with the doctor for 4 months (thank god) but it left me somewhat annoyed. I got there and had to wait as usual for ages to get weighed, height etc though how they imagine I might have grown between now and a few months is beyond me! But I went into the doctor, who is one of the best doctors ive came across, to be told…. nothing! Nada! Nout! Because I havent done all my scans yet, she did however put me on a nasal spray il have to take forever! And some medicine to loosen up my chest. Disgustin I know. But I have no news on what’s going on inside this little body as of yet….
Last night i was at a friends house, a few of us had got together and my boyfriend tagged along aswell, the night was getting later and we were all getting drunker ( as it happens ) and we got onto the conversation of work and what everyone does, well my answer of course was. oh i dont work at the minute, which then led to my boyfriend telling the whole party about my weird being backwards business, i was somewhat embarrassed because people always start to ask questions and i never know what to say, but one guy actually said.. can i shake your hand? Because then i can say i have shook hands with someone whos heart is in the wrong place. I laughed at this but shook his hand anyway, but it did get me thinking… I am unique, i am different, I am 1 in 22,000 people – but then isnt everyone unique in their own way? we are all special and different and weird. I just happen to have my heart in the wrong place, but i like to say – My heart might be on the right, but its still in the right place –
I was contacted a while ago through Instagram by a lovely woman from Canada who is having a baby girl, she was doing as much research as she could after finding out her baby is going to be born with Situs Inversus, Naturally she was scared when she heard about this because like most people, its not a common thing to hear about and we all fear the unknown. She contacted me to ask for my help of understanding the condition more and getting as much information as she possibly could so that she could be the best parent possible to her daughter. Im aware how special this child is to her as shes doing this all on her own, a task i would find terrifying but one that i know she is excelling at and will excel at as her child is born and grows up. I know that every parent must be terrified of the prospect of anything being wrong with their unborn child, and also the aspect of not knowing how their life will be growing up, I hope that i have done my best to reassure her through this pregnancy and I wish her all the very best. She has been a lovely person to speak to and she makes sure to contact me at least every few weeks to ask how im getting along and also to let me know how her and baby are getting along which I have appreciated so much.
I wish you all the best Snow white on your journey – I hope snow white finds her prince, because you already have your beautiful princess and you both deserve the best in life.